Sunday, May 22, 2011

Why I Still Believe

Salaam... ahh, what a beautiful morning. Alhamdulillah; alhamdulillah, I live again for one day. Still being given a chance to improvise myself. Unfortunately, when I was doing my Subuuh prayer, I felt emptiness. I do not know what was I doing and when the on the second raka`ah, I misread. There is something that bothered me; feeling hesitated, I redid my Subuuh.

The question, "Why"; is my way of believing
What had gotten into me, recently? Now, I rarely felt the same emotion when I first turned back to Islam. The emotion that I missed sooo much. My intuition says that I have done something bad to Allah SWT and His Rights. Well--I stop debating atheists, is this the mistake? Think not.

Tried to force myself to concentrate  and remember, the One that I was facing is no ordinary Being. Its Allah SWT; your Creator, Cherisher, Provision-Giver, the Most High and the Most Merciful. And this heart *right hand on left rib)* this heart is just too stubborn to believe.

You know, as a normal human being; weak plus objective-minded, I will at some points, argue myself if there is really a God. When I was praying, did really someone out there Listen to me. These doubts sometimes metamorphosized into a strong intuition. But then in the end, I smiled; God, how ignorant I am.
"God may not give what you want, but will always gives what you need. And with that fulfillment, He necessitates you to give back to others. "
This is what I hold when I felt discouraged and wrecked. Its the best remedy so far for me. I mean:- even when at times we doubt Him, He still Supplies us with air to breathe, food to eat and of course; a blog to write/read. Upon this consciousness, I feel grateful. Never did consciousness *you mean, the inner self* yeah, inner self of  me failed to comprehend how logical that is.
"With great consciousness, comes great responsibility."-adapted from 'Spiderman'.
Now, throw your sight through your window to the outside environment. Tell me what you see.. did you see people killing one another? *or tanks ravaging* or riot officers, trying to settle down the matter *or perhaps, in simple word: WAR* Did you see war?

I do not see anything but peace and calmness; hegemony at its entirety. And after that, what more could you ask? And often, in attempts to answer this, often; I felt ashamed. What an ungrateful person I am. And this point, has always critically shoots my sanity and realization. Even my objective and empirical mind could not afford to even try answering.
"I Love Allah"


  1. serius ak suka gila lagu blog ni!!suka lagu if i let u go!

  2. Owh.. lagu jaklah diminati.. sedih. AHAHAHA :D
    *sindrom 'lastos-minutos staedi'*

  3. Thanks.. may Allah guide us all, eh. Amiinn..

  4. mana da..ak pn suka N3 ni..ak pn selalu alami..slalu kena time asar n maghrib..mgkin sbb banyak gangguan time tu...sntiasa lihat tmpt sujud..insyaAllah kita dapat solat dgn kusyuk.

  5. Farah.. gurau ja lah. Yang penting ambil pengajaran dan satu lagi; nasihat kau berkesan, serius.


Ohana :)