Sunday, May 22, 2011

Why I Still Believe

Salaam... ahh, what a beautiful morning. Alhamdulillah; alhamdulillah, I live again for one day. Still being given a chance to improvise myself. Unfortunately, when I was doing my Subuuh prayer, I felt emptiness. I do not know what was I doing and when the on the second raka`ah, I misread. There is something that bothered me; feeling hesitated, I redid my Subuuh.

The question, "Why"; is my way of believing
What had gotten into me, recently? Now, I rarely felt the same emotion when I first turned back to Islam. The emotion that I missed sooo much. My intuition says that I have done something bad to Allah SWT and His Rights. Well--I stop debating atheists, is this the mistake? Think not.

Tried to force myself to concentrate  and remember, the One that I was facing is no ordinary Being. Its Allah SWT; your Creator, Cherisher, Provision-Giver, the Most High and the Most Merciful. And this heart *right hand on left rib)* this heart is just too stubborn to believe.

You know, as a normal human being; weak plus objective-minded, I will at some points, argue myself if there is really a God. When I was praying, did really someone out there Listen to me. These doubts sometimes metamorphosized into a strong intuition. But then in the end, I smiled; God, how ignorant I am.
"God may not give what you want, but will always gives what you need. And with that fulfillment, He necessitates you to give back to others. "
This is what I hold when I felt discouraged and wrecked. Its the best remedy so far for me. I mean:- even when at times we doubt Him, He still Supplies us with air to breathe, food to eat and of course; a blog to write/read. Upon this consciousness, I feel grateful. Never did consciousness *you mean, the inner self* yeah, inner self of  me failed to comprehend how logical that is.
"With great consciousness, comes great responsibility."-adapted from 'Spiderman'.
Now, throw your sight through your window to the outside environment. Tell me what you see.. did you see people killing one another? *or tanks ravaging* or riot officers, trying to settle down the matter *or perhaps, in simple word: WAR* Did you see war?

I do not see anything but peace and calmness; hegemony at its entirety. And after that, what more could you ask? And often, in attempts to answer this, often; I felt ashamed. What an ungrateful person I am. And this point, has always critically shoots my sanity and realization. Even my objective and empirical mind could not afford to even try answering.
"I Love Allah"
::Wassalam::

7 comments:

  1. serius ak suka gila lagu blog ni!!suka lagu if i let u go!

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  2. Owh.. lagu jaklah diminati.. sedih. AHAHAHA :D
    *sindrom 'lastos-minutos staedi'*

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  3. Thanks.. may Allah guide us all, eh. Amiinn..

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  4. mana da..ak pn suka N3 ni..ak pn selalu alami..slalu kena time asar n maghrib..mgkin sbb banyak gangguan time tu...sntiasa lihat tmpt sujud..insyaAllah kita dapat solat dgn kusyuk.

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  5. Farah.. gurau ja lah. Yang penting ambil pengajaran dan satu lagi; nasihat kau berkesan, serius.

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Ohana :)