Thursday, June 9, 2011

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Ask Him for anything you want; and He may not give you.He gives you what you need, and thing bezillion times worths than what you have wished.
Salaam..second post for this day. Huh~I am in total boredom. So, what is the topic? Hmm, not budging; still about self-realization. 

Brothers and sisters, at the very first time I write this blog, I knew that I am taking risks *what risks?* Sven, being my closest friend, you know what I am talking about... it is about the words and sentences that have been written here (in this blog). How many have I hurt? Its countless. So readers, sorry me; I beg you guys' apology.

I was being myself, yet I felt uneasy with it. I often found myself in the midst of thousands of junctions. Each junction yells, "Yassin, come here! This is you fate...". Was it easy to choose which path? No! 

So I know that my personality that I have come to pick as my image may hurt somebody. I know my hand may have slain a soul; somewhere without my knowledge. I knew these risks.

I wrote this blog, I picked the best words; the most well-mannered one. It is intended to not hurting anybody *or to the most minimum number possible*. But by doing that, I hurt myself. In order to satisfy others, I made myself into a hypocritic being.

Just dump that tagline, "Blog Ini Semestaku". It is not. Now I know how much have I diverged myself. I need a/to change. Maybe I should stop at writing :(

Say me, "poyo", "karat" or whatsoever; at last I know I should be mature ans sincere. I should think hard for myself and my family. Being isolated, alone in the dark. Reading books endlessly just to excel *but, that would hurt you!* If that is meant to be, so be it.

Sven, I am having personality problems right now. I know not what to do with myself; either constantly being the former Yassin, or being a new Yassin; a more solitude one. I do not know.

*I am good at giving advices, yet I, myself am dying inside. Within this skinny body, a tortures soul. I really want to be out of this mess*. Now how hypocritical more can it be when the king is the slave? Irony.

The adzaan have been recited. I need to seek help from my Creator. Maybe He has the solution. Salaam..

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Ohana :)